Elizabeth lives, writes, and designs from Michigan, USA
I am not a professional. I do not believe in peacocking to make myself seem grand and successful. Anyone on the internet knows you can self publish whatever your little heart desires. It does not make a person special or professional because they published a novel or a short story, this includes myself. I am lucky that my whimsy is indulged by several males in my life who funnel money into a bank account... because after many vigorous frowning debates over whiskey they could not think of a real job that I could ever hold down, and it was just better to leave me to my own devices rather than interfere and make matters worse for all involved.
I do not pay for editing. If there are editing mistakes/typos it's probably because I glazed over half way through or was indulging in nature’s green medicine chest. If there are any minor mistakes, know this! I am not a professional (as stated above) …IF there is something you perceive to be a major mistake (a serial comma, oh the horror! It’s standard in American English) or you do not like the subject matter (it's not for me! Whah whah...) then close the book and don’t read it. I’m sure you have more important things to do than read a book you hate…. If there is a glaring mistake such as the words are backwards and upside down, let me know - I’ll fix it. For your trouble I’ll send you something in the post to make up for the inconvenience - a book (it may or may not be my own), a lock of hair (again...it may or may not be my own), some cemetery dirt, etc...
I do not pay for formatting. If there are formatting errors it's probably for the same reasons as stated above. I try to avoid them but shit happens late at night...
I do not pay for cover art. I make my own covers because it is fun. Mystery solved.
But riddle me this - if you’re going to publish your writing and expect people to pay money for your stuff shouldn’t it be as professional as possible? Allow me to reply to myself: I don’t expect anything from anybody …but if I ever turn a living wage(that would be over $26, 200 US dollars) perhaps I would reinvest that money back into my casual hobby. Anything I make now is used to pay for my Adobe suite(which used to be free until someone cut me off and said NO MORE. If you're leaving me you're paying for your own software) and my stock photo subscription fee.
I do not believe just because I publish stuff and you publish stuff that we need to masturbate each other’s egos by pretending it’s the best fucking thing we’ve ever read. This is nonsense and completely unrealistic. Not everything is a masterpiece, it’s impossible.
Censorship does not exist, it’s the internet. Anyone who harps on about censorship usually has nothing to say other than how much they hate censorship. I for one do not believe we should lick up every single idea that is beamed out into the universe. It basically creates a massive mediocre slush pile for readers to wade through. As pointed out by Ian Svenonius, to argue censorship is bad amounts to the idea that you have nothing to say...that nothing you do or create matters...Whatever...If the mere whisper of censorship makes you feel like a rat in a cage…. If the fear of Jeff Bezos lurking over your shoulder sends chills down your spine, then know this! …It’s easy to get things republished on Amazon after they are blocked. Or you can sell on any other of the numerous popular platforms - Barnes & Noble, Kobo, or Etsy for example. I don’t get the big fucking deal other than its annoying.
To sum things up:
Here are some of my favorite quotes regarding indie publishing + other semi-related quotes from random people on the internet!! Yey!
“90% of self-published authors are rude, pushy, completely self-absorbed, and relentless. This is my BOOK! It’s my MASTERPIECE.” -Michelle
“Why do indie authors have such a bad stigma? Often it is from the tactics they employ to stand out from the crowd. This includes battling a bad review on Amazon and other eBook stores; engaging in review swaps (you do one for me, and I’ll do one for you); buying Twitter followers; paying for book reviews;” - Michael Kozlowski
"We make bread and other people can make cake, but you grow tired of cake too. So we just make ordinary bread" -Gylve Nagell
“...sometimes those other authors are shady.” -A.M. Dunnewin
“...the profit motive is a pathology, because it engenders sociopathic behavior, and on a corporate scale, the profit motive is extraordinarily destructive. So I don’t have respect for it.” -Steve Albini
“I think it’s important if you’re a creative person, or aspire to be, that you don’t spend too much time aspiring or asking advice....Please don’t misconstrue this as me thinking I’m beyond reproach or criticism and everything I do is great or right. I’m just not waiting around that much.” -Henry Rollins